This week death was a major feature in The Fantastic Four and The Amazing Spider-Man. If you don’t read the comics or have not read recently, I apologize for the spoilers. Stop reading to avoid more!
This week in The Amazing Spider-Man we mourned the passing of J. Jonah Jameson’s wife Marla. In the issue we had several silent funeral pages and then Spider-man starts tripping balls due to the guilt. He is forced to deal with everyone whom he let die or who he knows that died. It is touching especially if you are familiar with the backstory of the series. Peter also ends up beating up Uncle Ben and he decides to promise to let no one else die.
Then we find a new supervillain who is just planning to straight up kill people which won’t work out well for Peter.
Meanwhile in the other side of New York, the Fantastic Four mourned the passing of Johnny Storm aka the Human Torch. Guess what, several silent funeral pages along with post funeral pages and… Spider-Man. Guess who is probably dealing with tons of guilt – Peter Parker is.
Obviously some people might say it is gauche to compare these two tragedy’s in comics for fun. Well, screw class.
The Fantastic Four invited their friends, mostly super heroes to the wake in what seems to be a factory. Pretty tasteless and almost everyone is in costume. They know each other. Oh, and She-Hulk wears purple – fashion faux paw. Namor doesn’t even dress differently.
Over in Spider-Man, you have a church that is huge and churchy. Everyone is dressed respectfully and Spider-Man doesn’t even wear the costume under his clothes. That is respect and class.
Winner: Spider-Man. Johnny doesn’t want to see his mourners dressed like they’d normally be. Either skimpy clothes on the women or respectful mourning attire.
The Fantastic Four made an eternally burning memorial for Johnny Storm.
For Marla, the woman whose death teaches J. Jonah ” I Hate Spider-Man” Jameson that Spider-Man is not evil nor to blame, well she get a boring tombstone. And this isn’t like Jameson is that poor either. Jameson could at least get a bitching obelisk.
Winner: Totally Fantastic Four – eternally burning memorial is bitching and gangster. Something Johnny would appreciate.
Doom comes out to mourn Johnny. Victor Von Doom. The classic enemy. The Fantastic Four mourn for almost 30 days in the comic. The kids of Sue and Reed promise to straight up kill Annihilus. This is some main world-Negative Zone beef! Seriously gangster.
Meanwhile all we see is Spider-Man having a crazy dream that lasts for at least 7 hours. Sure it was less compressed than the Fantastic Four but even right after, Spider-Man doesn’t seem horribly beaten up.
Winner: The Fantastic Four – reality gang wars are pretty amazing.
The winner is obviously…..
The Hand of Aquaman who is mourned in this week’s Brightest Day and who signifies my respect for DC’s long running cross-series – dead! Last week when Aquaman hilariously lost his hand I thought it could be no worse. Then Aquaman gets over it, Aqualad gets a girlfriend and then if I recall everyone explodes.
Thank you DC for that gangster memorial to the death of my respect for you (except Superman-Batman which has Wizard Batman.)
(I actually did cry reading the Spider-Man funeral though so take from that what you will.)